Screw Rachel Ray. Doodle Whore gets his cooking tips from Candy Spelling. When she's not doling out advice to Britney via The Huffington Post, she's more than happy to share her kitchen wisdom with the unwashed masses:

Why spoil a perfectly good turkey with proletarian Stove Top stuffing? It's just as easy (and far more glamorous) to have your chef use emeralds, rubies, and diamonds instead. Top it off with a bejeweled crown for an opulent Thanksgiving fit for a queen!

You're welcome,


  1. Anonymous // November 19, 2007 at 11:12 PM

    I wonder what Tori's turkey would look like...

  2. Gilmore // November 20, 2007 at 12:37 PM

    This is fantastic. Your doodle looks exactly like her. Maybe, in fact, a bit better. Candy should be flattered.

  3. Mr. Picklefeather // November 21, 2007 at 9:27 PM

    Michael Jackson called: he wants his nose back.

  4. Anonymous // July 31, 2009 at 4:26 AM

    Eh, "your welcome"? Words can't express the irony of a person named "Spelling," with the spelling skills of a 9-year-old.

  5. Doodle Whore // July 31, 2009 at 8:14 AM

    Thanks for bringing my sloppy spelling to my attention, Anonymous. I corrected the error. Candy? Is that you?