OH. MY. GOD. As you might imagine, dear reader, I was totally blown away when I read that cute little Jamie Lynn Spears was knocked up at 16. I bet it's because she took birth control advice from big sister/fertility symbol Britney. Perhaps she should have been a little more precise as to what kind of sponge to use. I just don't understand these Spears girls. They are handed the world on a silver platter: fame, fortune, opportunities up the wazoo, and what do they do? They shit all over it. I hope "Mother of the Year" Lynn Spears still publishes her book on parenting, but as a satire with illustrations by Doodle Whore.