Location: Capri, Italy
Event: Fake Italian awards show created to get sexy American actresses to Capri
Goal: Destroy Lindsay Lohan

We've all seen the totally not surprising video of poor Linds chucking 6 months of rehab down the toilet:

I postulate that her falling off the wagon was no accident. It was a deliberate act of sabotage by fellow Capri Film Festival honoree Hayden Panettiere. She's determined to usurp Lindsay's once stellar career, golden hair, orange skin, right down to her signature peace sign flash. Can't you just see her casually sidling up to Lindsay throughout the evening saying, "Mmmmm. This is the best champagne I've ever had!" or "Hee hee. The bubbles tickle my nose." or "Come on, Linds. One sip can't hurt ya!"

I'm sure Hayden will be following in Ms. Lohan's footsteps in no time. See you in rehab next year, honey!


  1. jay are // January 5, 2008 at 5:53 PM

    Looks like Dr. Evil may have a new partner. Can we say Hayden "mini me" Panettiere.

  2. Anonymous // January 5, 2008 at 7:44 PM

    They are both so orange - like a cheeto.

  3. Alexis // January 6, 2008 at 2:55 PM

    You may be on to something here DW! I just saw footage of Hayden's mom - well she could be Dinah's sister. Tropicana glow and all.

  4. Anonymous // January 7, 2008 at 1:25 PM

    What the hell is Panettiere's Brother doing at that party??? He'll be in rehab befor we know it!

  5. Holy Cuteness // January 7, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    Looks like Hayden has a bad influence on Lindsay...