Of course the big news is that Madonna's turning 50 this year. Holy shit that seems old, but that means I'm getting old too which is really disturbing. Doesn't it seem like yesterday she was shocking the world by wearing her "underwear as outerwear" and brazenly baring her navel? People were shocked, the Pope was in a tizzy, gays rejoiced, and teen aged girls had a slutty new roll model to emulate. God bless the 80s! Nowadays, Britney shows her actual vagina repeatedly and we all yawn. Booooring. Anyway, Madge doesn't look anywhere near 50 (except for her gnarled witch hands). All this talk of turning 50 makes me think of the abrasive yet confident camel toe flasher Sally O'Malley from Saturday Night Live. Damn, I really miss Molly Shannon.
Oh, the other big Madonna news is that she's releasing her 11th studio album called Hard Candy. I've heard many leaked clips and I'm sure I'll love it. Then again, I tend to love everything she does no matter how disappointing. I've always said she could just fart into a microphone over a drum machine loop and I'd buy it (and the remixes).
Since we're on the topic of camel toes, here's one of my all time favorite Conan bits from way back:
Nick Cannon sent Champagne to Simon Cowell - Simon Cowell may be the only part of "America's Got Talent" that Nick Cannon will miss.
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