So much delicious fauxdrama to digest! Some insightful analysis and commentary:

  • Stephanie: You're a conniving, two-faced, manipulative little tramp and I love it. You're the Sammy Jo of The Hills. Keep up the good work. And I can't wait for you to bust out the sparkly LaToya Jackson headband again.
  • Lauren: Stop riding Whitney's fashion world coattails. I pray that Kelly "Golem" Cutrone makes Whitney your boss. And your melodramatic warnings to Audrina to "be careful" of Heidi's intentions are getting ΓΌber annoying. You can see the irritation building up in Audrina's dead eyed, glazed, non-expressions that you're pissing her off and driving her into the spindly arms of your arch nemisis.
  • Spencer: Your clumsy use of reverse psychology on Heidi to make her jealous is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. And it's working. While you're at it, take a bath why don't you. I can smell your douche-funk through the TV. Just because you're sad and lonely doesn't mean personal hygiene should take a backseat.
  • Heidi: You enthusiastically bought Spencer's pathetically unsophisticated attempt to make you jealous at S Bar hook, line, and sinker. He's playing you like a skinny, bleach blonde, lip plumped fiddle. And what the hell is a "relationship vacation" anyway?
  • Kelly Cutrone: You look like that creepy girl from The Ring, except older and less pleasant. Would it kill you to run a comb through that rat's nest once in a while?
PS If you haven't watched it, be sure to check out the super entertaining After Show. How cute is host Dan Levy? Who knew he had a bod like that under his hipster nerd wardrobe? Sigh.

Read all of my in depth analysis of The Hills here.


  1. joe*to*hell // April 15, 2008 at 2:59 PM

    oh that sammy jo clip was BRILLIANT!

    was that shot at la mirage????

    i have no comment on the hills however. my tuner doesnt go to that network

  2. Gilmore // April 15, 2008 at 3:53 PM

    Welcome back Doodlewhore! Love this round of Hills doodles. I still haven't seen that show and thanks to your brilliant commentary, I never will. There's zero chance that show is as entertaining as your deconstruction. I get my Hills fill here.

    P.S. Love the Sammy Jo video. I remember watching that clip as a kid and being a little jealous of her.

  3. Chinouk // April 16, 2008 at 1:41 PM

    I'm a big Hills-fan. Love your writings!