I've been watching her promote her new album all over the place and I'm mesmerized by her wardrobe choices (Wet Seal? Forever 21? Isn't she like 45 or something?), her bronzed motionless forehead, and her perpetually flailing limbs and finger choreography. You know it's because she can't dance with her legs like a normal person that she feels the need to do all that pointing, waving, and fluttering. Like a butterfly. Hell, even that gold digging hag Heather Mills could dance and she has a peg leg. I lump Ms. Carey in with other celebrated divas who couldn't cut a rug to save their lives like Whitney and Kylie. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I kind of like her new single "Touch My Body." I know, it's embarrassing. But I also secretly liked "We Belong Together," too. I'm fascinated by the way she's capable of cramming a million words into a single phrase or verse of a song until it sounds like gibberish. Honestly, I never really paid much attention to her until her post-Glitter public meltdown. Nothing thrills me more than watching a celebrity unravel before our eyes. It's not nice, but I can't help it. Just check out my myriad Britney posts for proof of that.
Watch Mariah flutter, poke, and flail:
Watch Whitney shake her weave and barely move her legs:
Watch Kylie bend, pivot, and move her arms a lot:
Watch Heather Mills dance her leg off:
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