I'm finally back from my much needed vacation (I went to the Bahamas and stayed at the swanky Cove at Atlantis) and I've been dying to doodle Dina, Lindsay, and Samantha. I can't count how many pictures I've seen this week of Linds and Sam swapping spit on Diddy's yacht, holding hands, and buying overpriced organic groceries together. You gotta hand it to Dina, though. She could catch those two love birds scissoring on a Papasan Chair and she wouldn't be phased in the least. Maybe she is a "cool mom" after all!

Doodle Whore wants to know what you think, dear reader. I happen to be a gay dude who loves lesbians and woman in general. However, I do not understand how hot chicks like Lindsay Lohan or Cynthia Nixon end up bumping clams with, shall we say, not so traditionally beautiful ladies who love ladies, if you catch my drift. In the gay world it would be analogous to, say, Mario Lopez turning homo for Bruce Bruce Vilanch. Seriously, I'm baffled. Explain this phenomenon to me please.

20 comments

  1. gilmore // June 5, 2008 at 11:50 PM

    Holy MILF hooters!!!!!!!!!!
    That Dina Lohan depiction is perfect. Love the lezzy Linds too.
    I can't explain the hot with the not hot phenom. ????? If Mario hooked up with Bruce Vilanch..... I imagine I'd get a blond wig with bangs, a pair of Sally Jesse Raphael glasses, and a black tshirt. Maybe I could confuse him?
    Welcome back Doodlewhore.

  2. joe*to*hell // June 6, 2008 at 12:18 AM

    maybe its a redhead lady thing. you know the kind i mean - orange-hued hair and rosy pink nips. maybe that kind just likes clams with clits that look like their titties

  3. Anonymous // June 6, 2008 at 11:02 AM

    I was discussing the "pretty lesbian with scary gf" thing last night with my husband. He didn't understand why I was so disturbed. Cynthia Nixon's gf is a ginger Frodo and she is really not cute! If your gf looks like a man, dresses like a man and is as big as a man, then just go out with a man for god's sake.

  4. Farah // June 6, 2008 at 2:34 PM

    This is one of the funniest you have ever doodled!!!!!
    Maybe the gender-bending ladies are appealing because they are more secure with themselves because they have had that much more to endure and understand...maybe the masculine aspect makes them more appealing to the former straights...or maybe they offer more adoration...just theories.
    Again,Love the doodles!!!!
    xoxo,Farah

  5. initiatedsean441 // June 6, 2008 at 3:09 PM

    lol . . ...Jay, you are so right on the money with the low rent dizzy ho Dina Lowhan + trailer park trash daughtta;the Sam + Lin hookup is understandable in an attractive femenine female w a boyishly cute dyke kinda way but the Nixon coupling is truly stomach turning in a bleckk omf way as it defies the conventional material / physical reasons people hook up so it must be a spiritual thing, but yes, baffling on the outside looking on at what appears to be what in gay/straight culture would be a mercy fuck . . .the Mario/Bruce comparison is spot on lol . . ...

  6. Anonymous // June 6, 2008 at 7:49 PM

    i would let sam ronson give me oral cuz i think shes really a dude

  7. Mikaela // June 6, 2008 at 10:33 PM

    So, so, so funny. I made the mistake of opening the subscribe email at work though!
    Happy to see you back.

  8. Anonymous // June 7, 2008 at 9:15 AM

    im a straight female but i have to say..there's something kinda sexy about samantha ronson. i think her and lindsay are a reaaally cute couple..honest! :)

  9. PoorBritney // June 7, 2008 at 5:27 PM

    That is so fantasticly gross and accurate! Hope you had a great vacay!

    I just watched Loser Lohan's and I want to catch Dina's hair on fire. Ugh, she's terrible.

    And as for Sam, gross. I have a lot of gay friends and all the girls I know who are hot also like hot chics so I dont get it.SaMANtha looks dirty and smelly

  10. Anonymous // June 7, 2008 at 7:38 PM

    Welcome back Doodlewhore! As for the hot/not hot phenomenon, please bear in mind that these women were previously (and probably still identify with being) straight, so maybe in their minds hooking up with women who do not fit the conventional standards of beauty as women helps them to mentally adjust to the fact that they are with women (i.e., "I'm not a real lezzy; I'm not with a real woman!"). Being a formerly straight lesbian (who does prefer attractive, feminine women), I have seen this a lot, especially among women who are not really out about their sexuality.

  11. Rachel // June 11, 2008 at 11:58 AM

    First: scissoring on a papasan chair? HOT.
    Second: I miss my papasan chair!
    Third: I'm a bi woman and I think they're pretty hot together in a trashy party girl way. I dig on dykes 'cause they're the best of both worlds---you get spoiled, head, naughtiness, a woman's body and smell and better make out sessions. ;-)
    Forth: Lindsay and Samantha aren't exactly equal to Mario and Bruce Bruce. I'd posit Mario and Dustin Diamond as a better parallel. ;-)

  12. Doodle Whore // June 11, 2008 at 12:03 PM

    I have to say I've learned a lot from all of the comments on this post. Dare I say, I'm starting to find Samantha Ronson kind of sexy now...

  13. Doodle Whore // June 11, 2008 at 12:04 PM

    Rachel, thanks for putting so much thought into your comment. Have you ever scissored on a Papasan chair?

  14. Rachel // June 11, 2008 at 12:10 PM

    shit no! i could barely stay in it by myself! but the image was genius and innovative. kudos to you!

  15. javelin // June 11, 2008 at 3:02 PM

    ahaha... what an amazing depiction of Dina and her world. so awesome!
    my mom was the opposite, she thought I was a lesbian in high school because I'd get all glammed up every weekend before going to "sleepovers at girlfriends' houses." Eventually my brother dropped the bomb that I had a 20 year old boyfriend. good times.
    Doodlewhore... I sure hope you publish all these doodles in a glorious book. send a copy to the national archives.

  16. Doodle Whore // June 11, 2008 at 3:49 PM

    Hmmm. A book of doodles... That's an excellent idea!

  17. Anonymous // June 20, 2008 at 7:51 PM

    Farah nailed it: "...maybe the masculine aspect makes them more appealing to the former straights..."

    I'm a straight female and I've never hit the poon. But if I ever did cross over, she'd have to be pretty butch and hot (k.d. langis my top pick so far). I can see the appeal in Cynthia Nixon's hot ginge GF. She looks like a cute 15 y.o. chubby nerd boy - like the president of the audio/visual club in high school. I dunno, I'd get with her if the circumstances were right.

  18. Anonymous // June 21, 2008 at 5:06 PM

    I don't think it is just a lesbian woman thing - I actually think it is a woman (no matter what sexual preference) thing. (Note: I am a hetro girl)

    Most guys are extremely visual - you could give a hetro guy the choice between a bitchy, stupid, mean supermodel or a kind, intellegent, fun gal who happens to be fat or otherwise not fit the standard definition of beauty, and quite a few hetro guys, if given that choice, would go for the bitchy supermodel. And I think homo guys are similar (I know some guys would look for the cool person to date and not always get stuck on what the person looks on the outside, but I do think guys are much more visually turned on)

    Women in comparison (again hetro or homo) are much more likely to look for a good partner and be less fixiated on the outside. I mean there are a ton of straight girls who marry ugly guys (think back to Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett) While a pretty face might turn any girl's head, it is how that person treats her that is going to keep her in that relationship.

  19. Doodle Whore // June 21, 2008 at 5:14 PM

    Thanks, Anonymous, for that thoughtful analysis! The whole Lindsay/Sam thang is making a lot more sense to me now. And just look at the loser hot dudes Linds has hooked up with over the past few years. Where are they now? Maybe SamRo's a keeper!

  20. Chris // July 7, 2008 at 11:31 AM

    All I see on this page is Mario Lopez and the rest is a blank screen.

    More Mario, please. Thank you.

    *faints*