Anybody watching the annoyingly titled reality show The Next Food Network Star on (duh) the Food Network? It's pretty bad, but now I'm hooked. I have no standards when it comes to summer TV viewing and I'm ok with that. Anyway, my favorite contestant is the severely bobbed ice queen dominatrix alien, Lisa Garza. According to the Food Network Addict blog, she's none too pleased about the way she was portrayed on yesterday's episode. If you watch the show and give a rat's ass, check out the poop here. If not, I did some bad photoshop mash-ups of Ms. G sharing recipes and hair styling tips with her alien compadres.

"Never dumb down your food for kids (or Vulcans)."

"Romulan remoulade is a dish your entire alien race can enjoy."

And for good measure, here's David Bowie singing "Loving the Alien":


  1. Jay Are // July 8, 2008 at 7:34 AM

    Hilarious! Editing schmediting, I'm sure she's really like Strawberry Shortcake. If I were a Vulcan and ran into this lady I'd totally be scared of her death grip.

  2. Anonymous // July 8, 2008 at 7:48 PM

    *so* funny. Ow. LOL

  3. Charmaine // July 9, 2008 at 7:47 PM

    I haven't been watching, but I love Lisa's list of favorite movies. My guilty pleasure of the summer is Shear Genius, which is utterly ridiculous (1st challenge: cut hair blindfolded!).