Guy Ritchie's pappy can't keep from flapping his gums where his trampy ex-daughter in-law, Madonna, is concerned. I find it more amusing if you read it out loud with Grandpa Simpson's voice when you read his quotes:

Madonna and Guy Ritchie's split may have looked ugly, but Guy's dad, John, tells In Touch that filing for divorce last October was a smart move. "The worst thing would be if they reconciled," John says.

"Guy is better off. He's in the States with the children at the moment." John notes that his former daughter-in-law is also moving on just fine. "She's been here with a chap, a friend of hers," he says. "We hope she does have a lot of boyfriends because it means she won't ever get back together with Guy!"

And, despite reports that the exes were fighting over their kids, Rocco, 8, and David, 3, Guy's father says they've worked it out. "There are no big arguments between them. All they discuss is the children," he says. "Guy is generally quite happy with the arrangements, provided the children come to London when he wants them to. If she makes that difficult, he will have to rethink how they are managing custody, but so far she hasn't." Madonna is reportedly dating other men. "Guy doesn't care at all," says his dad. "At least she won't be looking for him."

MAAATTTLOOOOCK!

Via The Huffington Post.

Diane Sawyer, shitfaced. Gawker
Anderson Cooper, shitfaced. Gawker
Ted Haggard even gayer than we thought. HuffPo
I'm obsessed with Glasvegas. The Rural Modernist

SAG Awards, deconstructed. Project Rungay

You'll never look at McNuggets in the same way. Ever. The Sectional

P.S. Sorry for all of the link lists and vids, but I'm super busy and working my little fingers down to the nub on a big project through the end of March. I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze in a doodle here and there, but bear with me while I make some bank.

I was watching Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and I was totally shocked and devastated to find out that his hilariously foul mouthed security guard, Veatrice, passed away. Her dead pan delivery, withering gaze, and non-stop cursing will be missed.

Another Bush that should be impeached. Totally NSFW. Huffington Post
Michael Stipe's messy loft inflames commenters. The Rural Modernist
Britney's private Fantasy Island. GOTA
Vicki's nostrils from Real Trannies of OC scare me. POTO
Remember that bitch Anita Bryant? Jockohomo
Yep, Boy George is going to jail. Dlisted

A midget in Frida Kahlo/schoolgirl drag playing Lourdes? Genius. And the actress playing Madge really nails the accent perfectly. Beyond brilliant.



VIA JOE

Poo like Gwyneth Paltrow. GOOP
Paris Hilton taints Tinkerbell. GOTA
Real Trannies of Orange County in pen and ink. POTO
Best of Bootie 2008. Mashups as art. Bootie USA
Kids who smoke. Awww. Holy Taco
The gold digging cracker with the dime store wiglet from Real Trannies of Atlanta has a blog. Kim Zolciak Online

Anyone who knows me at all has witnessed my devotion to both Madonna and Morrissey with equal fervor and adoration. It may seem like an odd combination, but hear me out.

Picture it. 1984. I hear How Soon is Now on the radio and it blows my mind. Two years later I'm lucky enough to see The Smiths live on their Queen is Dead tour when they performed at the Fox Theater in Detroit. Until that evening, I'd never experienced the spectacle of legions of men, women, and children storming the stage to hug the lead singer of a band. A year later they broke up, and I've seen solo Moz countless times ever since, my favorite being his stellar performance at Radio City Music Hall a few years back. As for Madonna, I liked her right from the start with her surreal new wave video for Burning Up. But it wasn't until she short-circuited my teenaged brain by writhing her way through Like a Virgin during the first MTV Music Video Awards that I was pretty much hooked. I've seen every tour from Blond Ambition right up to Sticky and Sweet last fall.

Anyway, I never imagined there was an intersection of both of my obsessions (anywhere other than in my own imagination) until the legendary Johnny Marr recently confirmed it. Watch him tell the tale of how Madge opened for The Smiths on New Years Eve 1983 at the Danceteria. Who would have thunk it? With that charmingly bizarre revelation let me wish everybody a Happy New Year!

How Soon Is Now:


Burning Up:

Madonna - New Music - More Music Videos