Dear Valene

Monday, October 25, 2010 | , with 2 comments »

I know you've been through a lot (stolen babies, amnesia, not to mention wrangling with that whore Abby Cunningham!), but it's officially time to retire the nude lip. You no longer live in Knots Landing. And it's not 1982. It makes your lips look like a couple of ham roll-ups slathered in Preparation H. Let it go.

You're welcome,
Doodle Whore

PS You might want to revisit your Donna Mills' beauty video The Eyes Have It if you're looking for tips. Yes, it's from the 80s, but it's TIMELESS and the nude lip isn't even mentioned once.


  1. Erika // October 25, 2010 at 6:40 PM

    Especially when your skin is more deathly pale than whatever that hideous shade is on her lips. Ugh!

  2. Erika // October 28, 2010 at 11:45 AM

    I keep coming back to this. Is she wearing RED eyeliner or are her eyes just all effed up?