Literal fistfuls of salt in everything she cooks. It's gross. Just stop.

P.S. If you don't know who this growling/grunting/Food Network/Spanx abusing tv personality is, just envision the spray-tanned love child of Rachel Ray and Bruce Vilanch, with yellow hair, a glandular problem, and a grating vocal tick. And just to prove I can be nice, I'm really enjoying her new show Worst Cooks in America. 

Posted via email from HELLywood

I'm sure you've dampened your knickers by now like I just did. Subscribe to Randall's Wild Wild World of Animals so you never miss an episode. KaDOOZE to the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck boys for bringing the genius of Randall to my attention. They're the crazy nastyass Honey Badgers of the ice cream truck world. They don't give a shit!

And Vogue. And Deeper and Deeper. I'm clearly not the only one who noticed. Whatever. Born This Way is perfectly acceptable cardio/pot throwing music.

Posted via email from HELLywood

I blame Will and Jada Smith's preternaturally precocious and irritating spawn for starting this trend. Jayden remade The Karate Kid and his equally grating and prodigious sister, Willow, is going to be whipping Annie's red afro back and forth in a remake of Annie. Not one to be left out, Rihanna has decided to throw her five-head into the ring with her hotly anticipated re-boot of the classic 1985 Cher/Eric Stoltz tearjerker Mask! At least that's the only reason I can think of why she would allow her Ronald McDonald follicles to be styled into this particular hair-don't that makes Tyra Banks and Christina Ricci's spacious foreheads green with envy. Bangs are your friend. Don't forget that. -Ella, -ella, -ella.

Bitch Stole My Look: Rihanna channels Eric Stoltz as Rocky Dennis with a sky high forehead and scarlet tresses.

Posted via email from HELLywood